New Guest Blogger: What was said, and what we hear

Much like the impact of punctuation - as illustrated so cleverly in the best-seller, 'Eats, shoots and leaves' - how words are spoken radically impacts their meaning and their interpretation. Everyone who's been in a relationship will know this. Take the sentence: "The door was left open again." Depending on the tone and delivery, this can be a covert accusation or simply a statement. Why should conversations with our healthcare professionals be exempt from scrutiny of our own rules of engagement. Our interpretations have such immense repercussions, you'd think there'd be some training with role modeling or eavesdropping or video taping, so the sometimes subtle reactions to something we think we've heard that causes us to rear up, shut down, shut out anything else the good doc says. Like for instance, a simple: "Hmmmm" can be a killer. In my own life, the simple three letter,  'Mom' has evolved into its own vocabulary depending on the deliverer's intent.

I recently heard this story, while tuned into CBC radio."They'd been married for 20 years, and drove together every day to work. At the beginning, they'd talk all the way. But eventually, their trips became silent. Each lost in their own thoughts. Each feeling the loss and loneliness of the silent ride. One day, he absentmindedly started humming, I've got you under my skin. 'What's that supposed to mean?', she snapped. And they lapsed back into silence.

The power and the potential of what's said, and what we hear.

Kathy Kastner is the editor of Ability4Life.com, for adult children caring for their parents, and is very involved in patient-centered education, and its many interpretations. She is also a CareToKnow.org community member.

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