Recently we shared a new Stats Can report, Caring for a parent who lives far away: The consequences, released in January 2010, Statistics Canada shows a 25 percent increase in the number of people aged 45 and over providing assistance and care to a chronically ill senior in the five year period from 2002 ‐2007. The increase was especially substantial for women.
“The context for caring in Canada has changed over time”, said Nadine Henningsen, President of the Canadian Caregiver Coalition (CCC) and Executive Director of the Canadian Home Care Association. “Families are smaller and more dispersed; there are more women in the formal workforce; marriage and childbearing occur later in life; and retirement is delayed.”
The research by Statistics Canada shows that caregivers living afar from the assisted parent were more likely to have extra expense, and to miss full days of work. The responsibility of providing long‐distance care resulted in more work‐related consequences for women than men.
Are you caring for a parent - or grandparent - who lives far away? What is your experience, and do you see yourself in this new report? What are your biggest challenges with providing care and communicating with family members? What support do you need?
Post a reply to share your thoughts and find support from others.
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Hi Carolyn, thank you so much for sharing your story and gratitude for your siblings. It's wonderful that they have each other - and you - for support. I'm sure your family's story is one that many others can relate to, and the stresses that grown children may face. Some strategies that have been shared recently are setting up weekly teleconferences between family members and care provider, or, are you familiar with Tyze.com? Based in Vancouver, they offer closed, secure online networks for families, friends and neighbours to support care for a particular person, near or afar.
Hi Christine,
This is an excellent topic of increasing importance to so many of us Boomers. I have a slightly different perspective as the daughter who lives too far away to be helpful at all. My two brothers and two sisters are spread out geographically from Europe to British Columbia, which means that the responsibility for the day-to-day issues that arise with our elderly mum with dementia falls by default to the two sibs who are geographically closest to her in the Niagara Peninsula.
This is a huge workload both physically and emotionally for them, as her health declines and she becomes by turn more combative and more depressed. It was a battle to convince her (we never actually did - she went kicking and screaming!) to sell her large home and move into a seniors complex nearby. Then came the battle to get her to stop driving. Then came the battle to encourage her to take her prescribed meds and eat something healthy each day! It's an ongoing battle, heroically waged by my two sibs (and StatsCan is right - it's usually the woman who provides more care with more work-related consequences like having to take days off!) My other BC sister and I feel quite guilty that we do virtually nothing by comparison (we're just not there to take Mum to the eye doctor or run errands or go shopping for her) and we both feel extremely grateful to our two nearby sibs who are doing the lion's share of the caregiving at this point.
We've all tried to help out financially as much as possible, or done things like fund a taxi account so Mum can get around especially in the wintertime - but it's just a drop in the bucket. The emotional toll on grown children is far greater than I could have ever anticipated.
cheers,
Carolyn